thank you for your e-mail,
We suspect your application has been addressed with the usual Bermuda
police efficiency ... lost, forgotten or simply cannot be bothered. On the
other hand they may have considered you to be over qualified (you can write)
or to be over enthusiastic.
However, that you have written to
www.bermudapolice.com causes us concern
and we refer you to
possibly you would be better advised to consider
Why not approach the island's constabulary using their impressive contact
page at www.police.bm. It is impressive in relation to the remainder of
their site! Fear not, you are one of many who make contact seeking
employment - one of your former inspectors was a recent applicant. Some even
approach us via:
why not use the preferred means of communication in the Bermuda police -
shout? try using the phone 295 0011 and ask for George Jackson - do not use
any long words though.
In the meantime we will forward this message to those who may have
contact details that they would be prepared to pass to us.
whilst we do not hold out much hope, we wish you well and have included
what is not a Bermuda Police exam paper (below)
The Department of Employment has revised the Maths Exam papers.
1. Leroy has 0.5 kilos of cocaine. If he sells an half to Dill for $125
and 90 grams to Eugene for $10,000, what is the street value of the rest of
2. Damon pimps 3 bitches. If the price is $40 a ride, how many jobs per
day must each bitch perform to support Damon's $500 a day coke habit?
3. Crackster wants to cut the ounce of cocaine he bought for $3,000 to
make a 20% profit. How many grams of Strychnine will he need?
4. Dexter got 6 years for murder. He also got $190,000 for the hit. If
his common law wife spends $2,300 per month, how much money will be left
when he gets out?
Extra Credit Bonus: How much more time will Dexter get for killing the
slapper that spent his money?
5. If an average can of spray paint covers 22 square metres and the
average letter is 1 square metre, how many letters can be sprayed with eight
fluid ounce cans of spray paint with 20% extra paint free ?
6. Troy steals Sinclair's moped. As Troy skates away at a speed of 35mph,
Sinclair loads his brother's hand gun. If it takes Sinclair 20 seconds to
load the gun, how far will Troy have travelled when he gets whacked?
The following questions relate to the wealthy:
1. Harry smashes up the old man's car, causing x amount of damage and
killing 3 people. The old man asks his senior officer friend to intervene in
the court system, then forges his insurance claim and receives a payment of
y. The difference between x and y is three times the life insurance
settlement for the three dead people. What kind of car is Harry driving now?
2. Fiona's personal shopper decides to substitute generic and own-brand
products for the designer goods favoured by her employer. In the course of a
month she saves the price of a return ticket to Portugal and Fiona doesn't
even notice the difference. Is she thick or what?
3. Tristram fancies the arse off a certain number of debutants, but he
only has enough Rohypnol left to render 33.3% unconscious. If he has 14
tablets of Rohypnol, how is he ever going to shag the other two thirds?
4. If Verity throws up 4 times a day for a week she can fit into a size 8
Versace. If she only throws up 3 times a day for two weeks, she has to make
do with a size 10 Dolce & Gabbana. How much does liposuction cost?
5. Henry is unsure about his sexuality. Three days a week he fancies
women. On the other days he fancies men, ducks and vacuum cleaners. However
he only has access to the Hoover every third week. When will he stand in a
We think you'll find it is:
received, as opposed to 'gotten'
what's, or what is
Sent: 11 November 2004 17:40
my name is *** ********* i am a serving member in the jamaica costabulary
force. i applied for recruitment in bermuda police up to now i have not
gotten any response . please if you could call me at **** ******* or
to let me know whats happening.